The Daily Crawfish

About The Daily Crawfish

Relax, beb. It’s just satire. If you’re not sure what that is, peruse the First Amendment. We love Louisiana. We just like satire, too. So try not to take any of it too seriously. If you do then this isn’t the place for you, cher.

RSS Lafayette

  • Aerial Lift Parked Outside Of Church Suggests Jesus Due To Rise Again Any Moment Now
    LAFAYETTE, LA – Looks like it’s happening folks! Easter Sunday is here and the annual miracle is almost upon us. And with the arrival of what appears to be an aerial lift at the entrance of Fatima Church, many are suggesting that the savior is due to rise again at any moment. The lift appears […]
  • REPORT: Hell Of A Lot Of Crop Burning In Area Today
    LAFAYETTE PARISH, LA – In what is being hailed as “kinda weird” by local authorities, a significant increase in local crop burning is taking place today across most of the area. It’s not unusual for fields to be burned for control reasons in around Lafayette Parish and the surrounding areas, but officials and the public […]
  • New Orleans Fans Dumbfounded As Saints Lose 2010 Super Bowl Rerun 24-14 To Colts
    MIAMI GARDENS, FL – In what turned out to be a surprising result, the New Orleans Saints lost the 2010 Super Bowl rerun 24-14 to a dominant Indianapolis Colts. With most if not all Saints fans opting to watch a rerun of Super Bowl XLIV instead of this years Super Bowl as a form of […]
  • NFL Promises “Big Officiating Upgrade” As Stevie Wonder Announced As Special Guest Referee For Super Bowl
    NEW YORK, NY – It’s sure to be little consolation to Saints fans, but it’s good to see that the NFL are taking this sub-par officiating issue seriously. In an effort to ensure that the Super Bowl ratings remain high, the NFL are taking big steps in ensuring that less bad calls are made than […]
  • BREAKING: Saints/Rams Referee Bill Vinovich No Longer Invited To Mardi Gras
    NEW ORLEANS, LA – After what one could call a slight officiating gaffe in this afternoons playoff match up between the Saints and the Rams, lead official Bill Vinovich has been cordially dis-invited to Mardi Gras. The announcement came moments ago from city officials who, because of the in-game mistake, believe that he shouldn’t be […]
  • REPORT: What? No, Area Saints Fan Definitely Said That He Was Boycotting The NHL
    LAFAYETTE, LA – What? No, what are you even talking about? With the Saints having booked their place in the NFC Championship and one game away from the Super Bowl, area fan Steven Denny wants to let you know that you have it all wrong. Look, you must have misheard when he was talking to […]
  • Global Scientific Community No Closer To Working Out How Scooters In Lafayette Reproducing So Quickly
    NEW YORK, NY – The global scientific community gathered in New York City today, and announced that despite recent evaluation and research they are no closer to understanding how the scooters in Lafayette, LA reproduce so quickly. Scientists and other nature experts from across the world have been descending on Lafayette in recent weeks after […]
  • Acadiana Rings In 2019 With Third Annual Boudin Ball Drop
    LAFAYETTE, LA – Parc Lafayette was once again the place to be this New Years Eve, with the third annual Boudin Ball Drop taking place last night. Modeled on New York’s famed New Year Ball Drop, Acadiana saw one-ton, 10 foot wide, hot and fresh, heavily-seasoned boudin ball descend approximately 50-feet down the newly-constructed pole, and […]
  • Tug Boats Recruited To Pull Youngsville Back To Shore From Gulf Of Mexico
    GULF OF MEXICO – With heavy rains battering most of Louisiana today, tug boats have been recruited this evening to once again pull Youngsville back to shore from the Gulf of Mexico. The city, which has been blighted with drainage issues since day one, was spotted floating out into the Gulf around 1pm this afternoon. […]
  • Queen Tara of Camelia Wins Reelection In Kingdom Of River Ranch
    RIVER RANCH, LA – In little surprise to most election forecasters, the Kingdom of River Ranch has declared that Queen Tara of Camelia has comfortably won reelection. After what began as a tightly contested race against challengers Bobby of Richland and Christy, Settler of the Trace, Queen Tara pulled away in recent weeks after a […]