Launched in 2014, Neutral Ground News is a satirical news and entertainment publication that focuses primarily on the people, places, and things in the city of New Orleans and surrounding areas… when the meds kick in. The website reports heavily-biased and agenda-based New Orleans news and is targeted toward an immature audience. It is not intended for readers under 18 years of age nor those who are dead on the inside.

Neutral Ground News is staffed by individuals who may or may not have been dropped on their heads as babies or inadvertently snort pure beignet powder in their spare time. Either way, their writers possess a unique outlook on the world — often one that does not align with reality and which some readers may find amusing-ish.

RSS New Orleans News

  • God withdraws guardian angels from New Orleans over “safety concerns” June 10, 2021
    New Orleans — you are now completely on your own. Shocking locals and city leaders alike, God has announced He will be closing the pearly... The post God withdraws guardian angels from New Orleans over “safety concerns” appeared first on Neutral Ground News.
  • 5,389,402 termites dead after violent weekend in New Orleans May 24, 2021
    The weekend was an especially deadly one in New Orleans as pest control authorities reported 5,389,402 Formosan termites across the city had been killed, including... The post 5,389,402 termites dead after violent weekend in New Orleans appeared first on Neutral Ground News.
  • NOAA predicts 0-100 hurricanes for this season in the Atlantic May 21, 2021
    The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration held a news conference at New Orleans City Hall today to reveal its predictions for the number of hurricanes... The post NOAA predicts 0-100 hurricanes for this season in the Atlantic appeared first on Neutral Ground News.
  • City’s mosquito trucks to tackle crime with marijuana smoke April 19, 2021
    With crime on the rise and the city scrambling for answers, New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell reportedly has developed an out-of-the-box plan using marijuana smoke... The post City’s mosquito trucks to tackle crime with marijuana smoke appeared first on Neutral Ground News.
  • Giant construction cone polling as leading choice for next mayor of New Orleans March 31, 2021
    With the New Orleans mayoral election just months away, an increasingly popular giant construction cone has become the front-runner in a recent poll for the city’s top... The post Giant construction cone polling as leading choice for next mayor of New Orleans appeared first on Neutral Ground News.
  • Sewerage & Water Board suspends giant construction cone for “working too hard” March 26, 2021
    Acting at a speed never previously witnessed by New Orleanians, the Sewerage & Water Board announced today it has suspended a newly popular giant construction... The post Sewerage & Water Board suspends giant construction cone for “working too hard” appeared first on Neutral Ground News.
  • COVID-sniffing alligator blockades form at Louisiana border against ‘maskless Mississippians’ March 18, 2021
    The number of maskless Mississippians is increasing and causing fear for others. The longtime relationship between the backend states of Mississippi and Louisiana has traditionally... The post COVID-sniffing alligator blockades form at Louisiana border against ‘maskless Mississippians’ appeared first on Neutral Ground News.
  • St. Patrick’s Day Military Parade to roll on in New Orleans March 16, 2021
    The city of New Orleans announced today that its annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade will be allowed to roll after parade organizers agreed with Mayor... The post St. Patrick’s Day Military Parade to roll on in New Orleans appeared first on Neutral Ground News.
  • New Orleans Saints sign scary-good quarterback Chris Walkon to futures contract March 15, 2021
    A day after the legendary Drew Brees retired from the football, the New Orleans Saints today announced they have signed scary-good quarterback Chris Walkon to... The post New Orleans Saints sign scary-good quarterback Chris Walkon to futures contract appeared first on Neutral Ground News.
  • NOPD investigating mugging of beloved Daylight-Saving Time March 14, 2021
    New Orleans Police are investigating a mugging that sent a tourist to the hospital Sunday. Authorities have identified the mugging victim found unconscious early Sunday... The post NOPD investigating mugging of beloved Daylight-Saving Time appeared first on Neutral Ground News.